The Christian Doctrine Paradox

Balaam and His Donkey

I often wonder why I am so addicted to bible study. Why can I not put this book down? Perhaps, I wonder, does it have anything to do with answered prayers? I succinctly remember a moment in my twenties, and then again in my thirties, I had what some would call an existential crisis of faith. I did not know it at the time, but that’s what is was. I needed to know the truth of things. I was so sick of being lied to, I nearly ended it all, twice. I begged the Lord to show me at least a glimpse of what may be true in this awful world of lies. By God in Heaven, He did, in abundance. If you ask God for a piece of bread, will he give you a stone?

More so, I wonder, why me? Why did You show these things to me, and why in a world of billion dollar Christianity had I not heard these things before? Listening to Christian talk radio, devouring every sermon I could find, I had never heard the things I now find true and factual while reading through the bible. Why?

For instance, God showed me the truth about the 7th day Sabbath. It was as simple as opening the Bible and reading it for myself. I had been following Herbert W. Armstrong’s work. I read every book that man ever wrote. I was absolutely convinced I was supposed to be keeping Sabbath, but something still didn’t feel right. Laying awake one night in prayer, it donned on me. What does the word “work” mean? I know the Hebrew and Greek are not always translated properly into English. Perhaps there is more beneath the surface. Sure enough. The word “work” in Exodus 20 is mlakah, which means literally, “the work of the ministry”, and not “Work for Employment” as is the modern interpretation. Therefore, for six days you will do all your “work” but on the 7th day, don’t do any “work” (ministry). Quite literally, Exodus 20 state the Israelites were never permitted to perform Ministry on the Sabbath. Hence the chapter in my first book, “Irony in the Sabbath Debate”.

Perhaps that is why I am so addicted. God shows me things that I don’t think He is showing others. Why me? Maybe, because I prayed for truth as if my life depended on it? Always humbled once again by His words, I remember Balaam and his donkey…

Read Numbers Chapter 22 for context. Balaam was instructed by God to do a certain thing. He chose to do otherwise. While riding on his donkey in conquest to do said thing, his donkey saw an angel of the Lord by the way. Balaam’s donkey got scared and bucked it’s rider, only to run about. Balaam whipped the donkey and attempted to set it back on it’s path. This episode of the donkey frightfully running away from the angel continued three times. The donkey ran; Balaam whooped the donkey in frustration. After the third whooping, God opened the mouth of the donkey and spoke in Balaam’s language. “Balaam, why are you whopping me!?” God then opened Balaam’s eyes. Balaam was now able to see the Angel in the way. Balaam fell to his face in repentance. Yes, God, yes angel messenger. I will do as you command.

So, whenever I get the boastful feeling like I have knowledge these liars in our Billion $$ Christian Industry do not, I remember Balaam and his donkey. If God chose to use and Ass to speak to His messenger, I tend to not think of myself more highly than I ought…

Do you? Mr. and Mrs. million $$ mega church???